Autumn

Perseverance

One of the most important (and basic) things I teach my art students is to persevere!
When making a piece of art we usually start with a great idea. Then we start working, collecting information, sketching, choosing colours, deciding on composition, etc, and realise it's going to be harder then we thought. At some point we come to a stage where the art piece sucks. The stage where we messed up, struggle to continue, and wonder whether to throw the art piece away or stop doing art.
Only perseverance will get us through this stage. It's the crucial point of winning or losing - to learn or to stand still. After continuing, the art piece might or might not match 'the great idea', but I believe pushing through is one the most rewarding and constructive processes of an artist! One that makes the artist!
Because I know this proces very well it became easier for me to keep on going. Messing up became a normal part of the proces of making a painting. I embrace it!

Is life not exactly the same?
I believe it is, but am not sure I have reached that place yet to embrace the mess. Nevertheless I'm determined to finish this 'piece of art'. Eventually it might or might not match with the expectations which I had before, but it will be good!

Second phase

A few images of slowly developing details of the painting. The art piece excites me - I see so many things which aren't there yet: the audience, the fleeing lion tamer, the maps, the ropes, the light... I keep on changing colours, proportions and perspective - still months of work to do. I can't wait to show the final piece.

Sinking boat

To be honest, my life has felt often like an almost sinking boat lately. On one hand Iam exploring new paths, which give energy and life. On the other hand Iam feeling the cold wind blowing through soaked cloths, tasting the salty water and trying to keep on standing while enormous waves crash into my boat and I have to toss many buckets of water out.

But I still trust in Him, that sleeping man on my boat.

Referring to Mark 4, the Bible

Antwerp

Again I traveled South to see friends and family. A good time. I also visited the city Antwerp. A few impressions of that beautiful place. I love the diversity of colours, people and a funny mix of construction,- demolition,- and historical sites.
At the M HKA (the museam of contemporary art) was an exhibition of film artist Chantal Akerman.

First phase

I finally started to paint again after a very, very long time. So good to pick up that brush and to CREATE!

(hope to keep you up to date over the next months with further phases of the painting)

Around my table

My home is my home. It took a while to make it mý place and start loving it. Around my table has become a good place to be. To create art together with others, enjoy food, enjoy friendship, and much more. I am home.

Traveling South-South/West

It's so good to have friends and family & spending time with them!
(pic 1,left: This practical solution in my friends home made me laugh)

Playing with ink

Spend some time playing with ink this morning (with the topic 'spring'). I love the way ink flows in unexpected ways with water and the way the bright colours mix and give suprising effects. The children agree.

Lunch

Instead of having lunch at the shop, which I usually do, I went out. To sit on a bench in the forrest, while listening to some good music (Regina Spektor), and having my lunch box on my lap. A bit chilly today, but defenitely worth the effort.

Charging the battery

Days with not a lot of inspiration and energy. But this moment at the end of the afternoon charged my battery a bit and made my day.

Beautiful!

The sound of lot's of birds singing invited me to the forest across the road. I am glad I took the time to leave stuff behind to take a moment to enjoy it. So beautiful to hear their songs again and to smell nature. It was that typical bird song and scent of a coming spring!



I made a sound recording but am unfortunately not able to put it on my blog. Such a pitty, the birds were so loud and with so many!

Mural

I finally made that mural I was planning to. We had some wall stickers already, now the landscape is added. Nice to do some painting again, a simple painting though, but with a great effect in a room. You should have seen Noah jumping on his bed for joy:-)

Half full - half empty

How can two glasses be exactly the same in size and contents, but be completely different?
One glass half full, another half empty.
I thought about that for a little while last week. What makes a glass half full or half empty? Is it the content? Wine, water of poison? The desire to keep it or to get rid of it?
Maybe it’s about what isn’t there… The fear of the intangible, the invisible, the unknown – the air that increases while the glass slowly empties and leaves me with empty hands.

When I look back in the past I see I could convulsively focus on the last swigs in my glass. Afraid to drink, afraid to loose the little I had.
I see that I do that differently now. I know very well what the best way is to enjoy a full glass of wine. And that is to drink it.
The best way to enjoy a half full glass of wine, is also to drink it.
And the best way to enjoy the last little bit of wine in my glass is… exactly, to drink it and to taste the flavours of red berries with all my taste buds. This is the way I enjoy every sip, be aware of the slowly increasing emptiness and try to embrace it. To be no longer afraid of it. I know that something else will come. Something new. Emptiness is a place to discover or create something new, like an empty page in a book or a blank spot on a map. It can be so terrifying, but inevitable if I want to enjoy every sip. I am not speaking about a specific occasion in my life, but more about the way I look at my life at the moment.
It has changed over the last two years.

Colourful days

Meeting good friends, drinking coffee, eating nice food, looking at the beauty of buildings, wandering through the Botanics, enjoying art, and visiting little messy shops. At some point during the first day I realised I was smiling a lot - enjoying the sight and sounds of the streets. People passing by must have been thinking...
Some impressions:





Iam tired now. And my head is spinning of all the thinking and trying to find a way through all the 'ifs' in my mind.

City of...

This week I will walk its streets again. City of the 7 hills, the Fringe festival, the many free museums and art galleries, and... of 10(!) Star Bucks coffee shops! I'll defenitely visit a few of these!

Spruiten

Ha ha, dit is een grappig stukje dat ik geschreven heb zo'n half jaar geleden over als het leven tegenzit. Ik kon het niet laten even te delen en heb er zojuist nog even een tekeningetje bij gemaakt. (ik heb niks tegen spruiten hoor, Sef dus wel)

Sef kon het nog goed herinneren. In zijn gedachten beleefde hij het opnieuw... Hij rook de verschrikkelijke geur in het huis, en voelde de grote groene ballen die in zijn mond maar bleven hangen en de smaak van het bijna moeten braken dat van diep achter in de keel opkwam… Er leek nooit een einde te komen aan de berg ergernis die op zijn bord lag. Wat een verschrikkelijke ramp was het als hij hoorde dat ze ’s avonds weer spruiten zouden gaan eten.

Hij had nu weer een bord voor zich; dit maal het bord van het dagelijks leven. Dit bord bracht hem bij zijn herinnering aan zijn bord als kind. Wat er nu op lag was geen berg spruiten, maar veel zwaarder te verteren. De gedachte aan deze berg deed hem duizelen. Niet te overzien, niet te behappen en niet te verteren, of toch...?

Weer een spruit… De gruwel die hij ervoer bij de grootte, de structuur, de geur en de smaak van de bal van bladeren spreidde zich door zijn hele lichaam, van zijn mond en neus tot aan het einde van zijn haren en de puntjes van zijn kleine tenen. Terwijl de ballen zich leken te vermenigvuldigen op zijn bord als een of ander gevaarlijk virus, herinnerde hij zich ook de langzaam opkomende vreugde als de strijd met de ballen toch langzaam overwonnen werd. Nog 8, nog 5, 3, 2, nog 1… Wat een ongelooflijke opluchting!
Morgen zouden ze weer wat anders eten!

Dominant black

The lies and false accusations are intense bitter and in combination with misused law a poisonous brew.
Today I drank a glass full.

While it seems to be impossible to ‘add some colour’ to this shade of black, I sense Your presence gently in me and strengthening my back.

Thank you...

picture: Court of justice, Arnhem, the building which I visited today.

winter happiness

Finally some time with my 3 boys again! This weekend we went ice skating. I felt happy enjoying their company, and the combination of the chilliness and the bright sun. Beautiful!

Reviving vs Surviving

Some days it's extremely hard to deal with circumstances. Especially when there is totally nothing you can do about them. It often takes a while before I can accept the fact that I am in such a place.
Last days I've been looking for ways to stop surviving, and to start reviving. And although I could't leave the circumstances behind, playing with ingredients and flavours made me feel happy:
photo 1: farmer's cake with apple, raisins, and cinemon.
photo 2 & 3: puff paste with brie, apple, walnut and honey.
photo 4: Courgette with mozzarella and basilicum.

Niet alleen...